It's Not Me, It's You

My social media break + the Weekly What

I’ve taken a bit of an unplanned social media break beginning last week. It’s no secret I have complicated feelings about social media. To sum it up succinctly and bluntly: I think social media is largely rotting our brains and society.

My social media drug of choice is Instagram. I’ve long felt conflicted about being there. Given current events and the declining user experience I found myself at a tipping point where the benefits of opening the app were not coming close to the costs and negative impact.

One day last week I stopped opening Instagram. At first it wasn’t a wholly intentional choice. When I realized I hadn’t been on and had no desire to be I kept it rolling. I think this is the longest break I’ve ever taken fully away from social media and truly I’m much better for it (and so is my reading! You’ll notice I read an inordinate amount of books this week.)

It all sounds kind of silly, but taking this break has given me some much needed space for reflection and evaluation. I’m not sure I intend to fully leave the app at this point, there is still community there I’d like to stay connected with, but I need to find a way to be more in control of my usage and experience.

I think I’ll be writing more on this topic. If you have any thoughts or tips I’d love to hear!

What I’m…

Reading

• Mayluna by Kelley McNeil. A middle aged woman recounts falling in love with and becoming the mysterious muse for the lead singer of a 90s rock band just as their star is exploding. I liked the concept of this, but the execution just did not work for me. Frustratingly little emotional and character development which really kept me from connecting with the story. Still I know plenty of people who love this book so this might be a me thing.

• Mansfield Park by Jane Austen.

  Novel Pairings
  winter selection. I slowly read this throughout much of January and February. My second Austen and I can’t say I enjoyed it as much as the first (Pride and Prejudice read in the aughts and again last year was my first. To be fair, I liked this far more upon my second reading; perhaps this is something to consider.) Though I did appreciate the themes explored by Mansfield Park and I’m glad I read.

• Lilith by Eric Rickstad. This is the final book I needed to read to complete the Aspen Words Lit Prize Longlist 🎉 Opening with a horrific school shooting Lilith follows a teacher at the school and her elementary school aged son, a shooting victim who barely survived. This story is not perfect, but I appreciated the ideas presented as well as the mythology layer. It’s a story I’ve continued turning over in my head so it’s doing something right.

• Crush by Ada Calhoun (Pub date 2/25). Complimentary copy provided by publisher. Happily enough married in middle age and with a teenage son readying for college a woman takes her husband up on the offer of an open marriage. Things quickly become messy, but this story is less about non-monogamy specifically or even a marriage in crisis and more about a woman's self discovery and learning to choose herself and accept pleasure. Told in the first person this novel reads like a memoir and undoubtedly falls into the autofiction genre. The narrator is a writer and the story is heavily dappled with literary quotes, references, and ruminations, which I personally appreciated while knowing not everyone will. In fact, I know this book will not be for many readers, but I think I'm the exact target audience. It's not a perfect pairing, but I'd shelve Crush alongside Miranda July's All Fours as these works explore similar themes.

• The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I first read The Hunger Games in November 2009. This was shortly after Catching Fire (book 2) published and the book world was abuzz about this series, enough so that I was convinced to pick up a YA title for the first time since childhood. At the time I was ~6 months pregnant with my first child. I vividly recall being sick in bed (unremembered is whether this was due to pregnancy or illness) and absolutely binging this book from cover to cover in a single day. I then proceeded to have the most horrific nightmares about being in the arena playing the Hunger Games. This is to say: a most excellent reading experience. Now with that baby from my belly nearly 6 ft tall and just shy of 15 and my youngest recently turned 12 it felt like just the right time to revisit this book as a read aloud and it absolutely did not disappoint! Even knowing how the whole series unfolds the story is still a page turner with so many layers. Before beginning I told my kids I think this is one of the best YA novels ever written. Having finished, I stand by that. It is really a parenting level up to be able to enjoy books like this alongside my kids. Afterwards, I enjoyed revisiting

  Sara Hildreth
  ‘s critical analysis of her own Hunger Games reread.

• Three Days in June by Anne Tyler. Complimentary copy provided by publisher. Set over the course of, well, three days in June, as the title suggests, an eventful three days for 61-year-old Gail Baines as she navigates being pushed out of her job, prepares for her only child's wedding, and hosts her ex-husband who has unexpectedly shown up on her doorstep needing a place to stay during the wedding events for not only himself, but a new foster cat. More of a novella at just 176 pages Three Days in June is a slice of life character study of a woman who has switched paths late in life whether she knows it or not. I'm a fan of Anne Tyler. She has a way of writing everyday life in such a poignant way, rendering it something special. This is a quiet, comfortable story. I can't say it's my favorite of Tyler's, but I always enjoy her writing. One caveat: while this story is set in present day it feels better suited to decades ago. The story and its characters just don’t read fully contemporary. I don't have a problem with this, but some readers might. I think I would have preferred the story to be set in the last quarter of the 20th century rather than present day, but that’s just personal preference.

Listening

• How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy by Jenny Odell. Though this leaned a bit philosophical for my taste at times I appreciated many of the ideas discussed.

• Blob by Maggie Su. Funny, absurd, poignant story about a struggling young woman who finds and adopts a somewhat sentient blob (yes, a blob, picture something jellyfish-esque) growing him into her ideal boyfriend. This is total Weird Little Book territory but still accessible and I really enjoyed it.

• Memorial Days by Geraldine Brooks. A raw and touching memoir from Brooks recounting and examining the unexpected loss of her husband, writer and author Anthony Horowitz.

• Superbloom: How Technologies of Connection Tear Us Apart by Nicholas Carr. An interesting examination of the evolution of communication technologies across time and their interplay with society.

• Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Showbusiness by Neil Postman. A seminal text published in 1985 offering a scathing critique of entertainment culture ushered in by television. Often referenced by other books and conversations related to modern communication and social media it felt like time to dig in to this classic. I found it fascinating and still extremely relevant even if outdated in scope. Postman died in 2003, but I feel like he would be both horrified and unsurprised by the current state of media.

• Offline: What Post Democracy America Looks Like. The interview portion with Dr. Steven Levitsky discussing competitive authoritarianism is worth a listen.

• Offline: Why Elon Lies about DOGE and How to Fix Your Focus. Again, the interview portion, this time with Dr. Gloria Mark about attention span is well worth a listen. I first heard her interviewed a while back on Ezra Klein’s podcast, which is longer and goes more in depth.

Watching

• Only Murders in the Building, Season 4 (Hulu). We finished up season 3 and moved on to season 4. Though I liked season 3 the dynamics were different than the previous 2 seasons in a way I didn’t enjoy as much. A few episodes into season 4 it feels like the show has returned to its roots in a good way.

• Perfect Wife: The Mysterious Disappearance of Sherri Papini (Hulu). This 3 episode docuseries is a wild ride.

• An Update on Our Family (Max). Another 3 episode docuseries, this time exploring YouTube family vlogging through the story of the Stauffers and their growing family, which at one time included an internationally adopted child. Another wild story. I actually watched this last week but forgot to mention.

Eating & Drinking

• Homemade Chicago Style Pizza courtesy of my husband. I made Cheesy Garlic Sourdough Focaccia to go with.

• I’ve made this Beef and Barley Stew for several years now and I think it’s one of the best things to come from my slow cooker.

• Another good thing to come from my slow cooker: Enchilada Quinoa. A new to me recipe that reminded me of a saucier take on Tex-Mex Quinoa Dippers, which I have made several times.

• It was SO cold here this week, I responded by really leaning into comforting, cozy meals. Midweek Lasagna definitely fit the bill. I served it alongside salad and The Best Homemade Garlic Bread.

• For breakfast I made more Baked Oatmeal for me and Breakfast Burritos for others.

• And some classic, easy Cookie Bars for a midweek treat.

Links + Loves

• Took advantage of Maelove’s buy 3 get 1 free bundle offer to restock on some much loved products: specifically the AHA cleanser and Fade Away serum. I also picked up a scrub and Super Smooth serum to try. I really like this brand and have used it for several years now. I find their products are well formulated and a comparatively decent value for the quality.

• It’s no surprise to me to see Dystopian Novels See Post-Inauguration Sales Boost (Publishers Weekly). I reread 1984 during Trump’s first administration and revisited Parable of the Sower this summer. While I think all the titles highlighted are worthy and relevant reads I am surprised not to see Brave New World in the mix as I think it’s an incredibly relevant book at this point.

• A Major Book Publisher Announced a Change. The Industry Freaked Out. (Vox) Breaking down a potential evolution regarding book blurbs as Simon & Schuster recently announced they will no longer require authors to obtain blurbs for their books. While I generally appreciate blurbs as a reader I’d rather they be authentic rather than compulsory. I’m in favor of this shift, especially considering the evolution of book marketing overall, and hope to see other publishers follow suite. While I hope (and doubt) blurbs will disappear completely I recognize there’s a real down side to practice. More: Inside the Blurb-Industrial Complex (Slate), The Blurb Problem Keeps Getting Worse (The Atlantic).

• I linked above to a podcast interview with Steven Levitsky, one of the authors of How Democracies Die and Tyranny of the Minority, his piece The Path to American Authoritarianism: What Comes After Democratic Breakdown (Foreign Affairs) is also worth a read.

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